Twenty Years...

Twenty years...Doesn't seem like that long ago.  It seems as though it was only yesterday.  But the days have flown into weeks, months, years, and now two decades have passed since she said, "I do."  Boy, was I nervous!  I didn't know if she would say "yes", or just laugh at me!  She said, "yes", and now we're twenty years down the road.

I wish I could say that all twenty years have been easy, fun-filled, and full of everything we've ever dreamed.  Truth be told, most of it was, but some of it wasn't.  The day we got the news that Jan's father had Pancreatic Cancer was a day that I will never forget, and the day we heard that he had died is a day that still breaks my heart.  The day we lost our second baby is another that lingers in my memory as well as a dark time of great sadness.  Moving days were never painless nor easy.  Saying goodbye to good friends has been difficult over the years. 

And yet, there things for which I am grateful as well.  Two healthy, adorable children.  Ordination.  Friends that still communicate more than just at Christmas time.  Most especially, a beautiful, intelligent, gracious, thoughtful, helpful, loving companion, who is not afraid to hold me accountable and keep me in line when I most assuredly need it.  I wish I could say it was a storybook romance.  But I can say that it is filled with passion, adoration, and absolute love. 

You may think me odd, but that is exactly the way that God looks at the Church.  We are God's bride, and God is eager to hear that we are as deeply in love with God as God is with us.  God wants only the best for us, and wants us to be the best we can be.  God is passionately in love with us, and there is nothing that God wouldn't do for us. 

And what breaks God's heart is not so much our going through the rough patches in life.  It isn't about the troubles that we've seen and endured.  It isn't even the dark moments of despair.  What breaks God's heart is when we don't see God with that same passion and intention.  When we fail to love God back in return with our whole heart.  When our hearts have grown so accustomed to having God around that it isn't special any more, and we more or less take it for granted. 

Sometimes we don't even know we're doing it.  We fall behind in some task that we don't take the time to speak with God in the morning.  Or we somehow only manage to remember God when things get scary.  Sometimes, we've gotten so accustomed to being away from God we don't even know God is waiting for us.  And it breaks God's heart.  God, who is so much in love with us, keeps waiting.  Never giving up hope.  Never quitting on us.  Because God loves us.  And God has given everything for us.  "For God so loved the world that God gave his only Son..."  What great love is this!!!

This past month, Jan and I renewed our vows at La Mancion on the Riverwalk in San Antonio.  Truth be told, there was this small tinge of fear that she might not want to re-marry me!  She did, and I am more convinced now than ever before that I love her.  She's still my heartthrob, and I am grateful. 

We're still God's heartthrob.  Spend some time today with the one who loves you so much.  And give thanks.

See you in Church!

Grace and peace,
Brad