But one year, my mom’s parents came to visit us when I was about seven or eight. It wasn’t during the summer, and I remember them sharing with me that they weren’t there to see me. I thought that they were being mean to me. They said that they still loved me, but that they were there to see my mother. Mom had just gone away for a couple of days, although I didn’t know why at the time. Then I found out about the wigs. It was odd to think that someone would come to visit our family, but not come to see me.
My world had always revolved around me. Birthday parties, Christmas presents, vacation times at grandparents’ homes, camping – it was all about me. It was, after all, my world. When people came to visit us, I was convinced that I was supposed to be the center of attention. I firmly believed that I was the one these folks came to see. So when my grandparents came to help dad care for mom during her cancer surgery, I thought they were here to see me.
It is interesting how we see the world when we are growing up. It is a brand new experience, and we grow from every encounter. Like that wide-eyed teenager visiting the big city for the first time, we are filled with awe and wonder. But then something happens, and we realize that it isn’t all about ourselves.
When Jesus shared with the disciples during the Last Supper that he had given them a new direction, and a new purpose, it wasn’t about them. It was about loving others. And it is about loving others more than we love ourselves. He said, “Those who love their lives will lose them, and those who hate their lives in this world will keep them forever” (John 12:25). Here, when Jesus says “hate”, he is not talking about self-loathing, but about how and where we rank ourselves with others. When we put ourselves first, we are not following the will of God. Such selfishness does not build up the kingdom, and it does not distinguish us from those who do not know God. And we are called to be different. He said that love was first and foremost the distinguishing characteristic that makes us unique as Christians. “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you” (John 13:34).
But our world doesn’t understand this kind of selflessness. We are always taught to put ourselves first. (“Looking out for number one” is how Blue Oyster Cult put it!) Unfortunately, we don’t resemble Christ very much when we do that. John Wesley wrote “A Covenant Prayer” in which he talked about how the believer, the disciple was to put the will of God first, others second, and self last. He wrote:
“I am no longer my own, but thine.
Put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt.
Put me to doing, put me to suffering.
Let me be employed by thee or laid aside for thee,
exalted for thee or brought low by thee.
Let me be full, let me be empty.
Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
I freely and heartily yield all things to thy pleasure and disposal.”
Wesley understood that the disciple of Jesus Christ was a servant of Christ, wholly committed to serving God and one another. If the servant ever put himself/herself first, then the covenant was broken.
True discipleship is modeled after Christ’s own life – following the will of God no matter where it may lead. I pray that we can be found so faithful in our own discipleship. Because it is so not about us! See you in Church!Grace and peace,
Brad
