When I was in high school, I took one of those “tests” that was supposed to help me to determine a career path. As a senior, I was anxious, nay, excited, to have some glimpse into what destiny my life might attain in my pursuit to find meaning and fulfillment. At last, someone would share with me that destiny, and point me in the general direction. I would finally know beyond the shadow of a doubt where my fate and future would take me. My results were less than hopeful.
It seems that, given my particular gifts and graces, I was destined to be (gulp!) an English grammar teacher. Now, I have nothing against these fine folks, who struggle to make fools like me attempt to learn what is arguably the most difficult language on the face of the planet. Not just learn it, but to master it. To be able to convey with words (written and spoken) the very thoughts that my brain has conceived. To be able to articulate concepts and ideas in such a way that comprehension and dialog can be achieved. To be able to express myself with clarity so that growth may be attained. (Ok, enough with that dribble.)
My only problem is that – well, I hated English grammar. I detested graphing sentences, learning split infinitives (which I have mastered, by the way!), sentence, paragraph, and chapter structures, as well as all the no-no’s that go along with them. I didn’t mind reading others’ works, but I hated having to write my own. I despised the thought of the tasks that were before me to write, phrase, and express myself. I could not imagine the notion of becoming a teacher of this stuff!
It is interesting that I make my living using words. I use words to describe grace, mercy, forgiveness, acceptance, repentance, redemption, salvation, hope, love, peace, joy, relationship… well, you get the idea. Words are the tools by which I work, and the building blocks of my trade. Without the ability to express these concepts, how could one share the most important idea the world has ever known, and indeed, needs to hear?
What language shall I borrow to thank thee, dearest friend,
For this thy dying sorrow, thy pity without end?
O make my thine forever; and should I fainting be,
Lord, let me never, never outlive my love to thee.
("O Sacred Head, Now Wounded," UM Hymnal p. 286)
These words, anonymously written and translated in the seventeenth century to describe the indescribable – the debt each of us owes but will never be able to repay to the one who has died for our sins. Over the years, I have learned that my struggles with the English language have not been in vain. I have struggled so that I might better listen to others. I have struggled so that I might be better able to communicate. I have struggled so that others might come to the faith. It isn’t easy. And the words do not always flow easily. And, like the author of those words above, I often ask in prayer, as I sit down to write sermons, newsletter articles, and letters, “What language shall I borrow?” What words shall I find that will help me to express this grace to another soul who needs to hear it?
Maybe you have had a similar situation, where you struggled to find the right words to help someone in need. Maybe you’ve struggled to express the love of God to someone who is hurting. Trust God. Even when the words are hard to find, God knows. God has a way of giving us what we need when the time comes – of putting the right words in our mouths. And when there aren’t any words, “The Spirit intercedes on our behalf with sighs too deep for words.” Thanks be to God! See you in Church!
Grace and peace,
Brad
