Changes...

Boy, was I scared. I wasn't sure if it was going to hurt. I had never had one before, unless you count the ones my mom had given me as a toddler. But this was my first real one. I wasn't sure what it was going to look like when I got done. But I knew something would be different. Haircuts usually do that to you.
Why do we always fear change? Psychologists and psychiatrists have been asking that question for years. What is it about change that scares us so? Is it that we are afraid of how others will perceive us? Is it that we ourselves will have changed so much that we might fear being unrecognizable? What is it about change?
Maybe it has something to do with our control. When we initiate change, it is because we have mustered the courage somehow and have determined that what will happen afterward will somehow be better than where we are right now. Maybe its because we're in control of the change process - or at least part of it. And when we are not in control, that's when we get scared.
Let's face it. We don't really like being out of control, or worse yet, not having any say whatsoever. It frightens us. Change is always difficult, but somehow, we believe, if we are in control of it as it is happening, then we can say to ourselves (and anyone else who might be listening) that we meant to do it. We were in charge of our change.
But what happens when our control is no longer an option? What happens when we are not asked our opinion? What happens when our opinion doesn't much matter? What happens when our lives seem to be taken over by others, or when our decisions don't carry much weight anymore? What then?
At the end of the book of John, Jesus and Peter have a touching reunion, where grace and forgiveness are shown in a purely redemptive fashion. Jesus asks Peter three times if he loves him and three times his response is 'yes Lord, you know I do.' Three times Jesus gives a command to tend to the sheep of his flock.
And then Jesus goes on. He says, "Very truly, I tell you, when you were younger, you used to fasten your own belt and to go wherever you wished. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go" (John 21:18). Disturbing. Frightening. Being led where you do not wish to go? Being out of control?
Sometimes, it seems, Jesus just asks too much from us. "Go, sell what you own, give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me" (Mark 10:21b). "Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens , and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28, 30). "Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, even life itself, cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:26-27).
Sell everything? How will I live? Wear a yoke? Isn't that oppressive? I'm not a beast of burden! Hate my family? Hate myself? Carrying crosses? No, Jesus it is too much. It is just too much. You are asking me to give up myself.
Exactly. We are called to give up making our own decisions and to trust in God. Radical. Outrageous. Extreme.
But if we really want God to be God, that is what is required. To submit our control to God. To allow God to be the one who can change us and transform us. "See, I am making all things new!" (Rev. 21:5). That includes us! And when we see what God is doing, how can we believe, even if only for a moment, that what God is doing could not possibly be better than what we have now?
I think its time for another haircut. And this time, I'm not going to worry about whether or not the barber does what I ask. After all, I'm becoming a new creation in Christ.
What about you?

Grace and peace,
Brad